It will be uncomfortable – Conversations Required of Leaders in the Diverse Workplace

A talk by Ray Weaver
CEO, ABOGE Coaching and Consulting, Inc.

June 24, 2020, 10:15 am CT

Leaders,

I have been fielding calls on holding conversations on the events that have been happening in our nation. Specifically, the conversation around the subject of race. I too find it an uncomfortable conversation.

It is a fact, it is uncomfortable because it has emotions, differing opinions, and high stakes; hence, it’s known as a Crucial Conversation.

Conversations like these require us to be totally present, attentive, and open. Additionally, it will not get any easier, if we shy away from holding them.

As I was journaling on the subject today, I reflected on my fear of having conversations about race. After a few hours, I found much of my fear was based on my feeling of not being an expert on race. I am an expert on how I feel, but not on the deep psychology and philosophy of the study of race.

Later, it occurred to me, my fears were based on my thinking I needed to solve the problem (the expert); hence, I felt ill-equipped to do so.

The realization of my fear, aided in my asking another question, “What if, to start the conversation, I just engage to educate myself on the feelings and insights of others from a learning perspective?” I immediately felt empowered and willing to have the conversation; with the intention to learn, listen, and grow.

Face it, this is a large, deep, and complex issue; and it will take multiple conversations, reflection, intentioned efforts, and action on a personal, interpersonal, and national level to solve.

But, additionally, it to requires a willingness to engage in dialogue, within your sphere of influence; no matter how uncomfortable.

I am sharing this not as a simplification. It is to let you know, you are not alone in the uncomfortableness of it, and that you are equipped to have the crucial “learning” conversation if that is your intention.

As leaders, it is necessary for us to open the dialogue and lead the way.

Attached is a Crucial Conversation Checklist, which includes the visual model of the process. It provides the structure to hold the uncomfortable conversations, which is a requirement of the work of leadership.

I am reminded of a quote on the opportunity. It is said, “…real opportunity, unlike magical thinking, often comes dressed in overalls, and looks like work.”

I hope this will support your being open to learn, engage, and hold uncomfortable conversations; as part of your work in leadership.

Stay Safe! Stay Healthy! Stay Strong!